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The Wisdom of Having Wise Friends


Gwen Smith

February 23, 2016

Blog, Devotions, Friendship, God's Promises, Mentoring, Wisdom

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many advisers

God always needs to be our go-to guy when it comes to counsel. Our first call. But the Bible also gives us the directive to connect with other Christ followers for guidance: seek godly counsel.

“The LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless” (Prov. 2:6–7).

When I make an effort to seek godly counsel, I benefit from the power of the Lord that is at work in the lives of those around me. I benefit from their mistakes and from their successes. And it frees me from the pressure of having to figure everything out on my own. It frees me to move forward beyond my own limited experiences, faith, and knowledge.

Struggling with a tough work situation? Tangled up in a messy marriage knot? Are you being held captive by fear, doubt, and insecurity? Get some godly counsel. Proverbs tells us, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed” (15:22 ESV).

My husband is a wise man, and God has placed him as the head of our home, so I like to talk through difficult things with him. He gives me a perspective that’s often quite different from mine.

When I need to hash out confusion, I sometimes go to the small group of women I call my besties. They are godly. They love me. They like me. They laugh at and with me. They pray for me. They mentor me and provide counsel.

We’re all in different seasons of life and have different needs for godly wisdom.

I am a poppy, you are a rose, she is a daisy—we are a wildflower bouquet!

If you’re single, divorced, or widowed, you might be the head of your home. If so, you could connect with a pastor for godly counsel, or a trusted friend who follows hard after Jesus, or a godly family member or coworker. Another person I encourage you to reach out to is the women’s ministry director of your church. Grab coffee or lunch with her. She will love you!

There are many ways you can gain wisdom and add greater power to your life. Add to this list as you discover what works for you. Are you a journal girl? Write about the areas in which you need God’s wisdom. Write a prayer in your journal that spells them out in black and white. Pursue the treasure!

And here’s a wonky twist: sometimes God answers our prayers for wisdom by sending us to talk with someone who doesn’t even follow Him but has the knowledge we need. When our son Preston broke his jaw and needed reconstructive surgery, Brad and I got counsel from a highly trained oral and maxillofacial surgeon. We prayed for the Lord to lead each decision we made and to guide the hands and choices of the surgical team, but our medical counsel came straight from the medical expert. His faith had nothing to do with it. Though that medical advice may or may not have come from a follower of Christ, Brad and I prayed for the Lord to lead with His wisdom in, on, and through it all.

God’s Word promises that He will walk you to the understanding you need. Just ask. I know you want His leading as much as I do. So when life gets crazy confusing, remember that you can gain clarity and power when you surround yourself with godly people of wise counsel.

Dear Lord, You are the source of all the wisdom I ever need. Thank you for using others in my life to influence my success. Please help me grow in and welcome godly counsel.



Name three people you know who give godly advice. Thank them today. Are you that person to anyone else? If this topic is a wake up call because you find yourself with very few godly friends, spend some time in prayer about this. Then search some out.

What are your thoughts on this? Leave a comment on my wall.


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About Gwen Smith

Gwen Smith

I am an unashamed, imperfect worshiper of Jesus Christ. I cling to His goodness to cover my mess and purpose my days to live out the hope of the Gospel. It is my joy and passion to inspire women to live fully in grace and truth. I write books, devotions and songs. I speak. I sing. I worship. I post, pin and tweet. I am intensely in love with the Word of God and believe, wholeheartedly, that the Bible is divinely inspired truth.


9 responses to “The Wisdom of Having Wise Friends”

  1. Susan F says:

    It has been great reading all of your posts and knowing we all struggle sometimes. I am going through a moral inventory right now and I’m realizing just how much fear runs certain parts of my life. God does not give us a spirit of fear. Sometimes it’s my old default system that I go back to. Sometimes it’s the enemy trying to discourage me (his biggest tool). It doesn’t really matter if it’s me or him it’s not from God. So what do I do? I pray and what else can I do? Trust! It’s sometimes very difficult. Sometimes I share with women that are wise and I get caught up in sharing things that needed to go to the Lord first as it says in Matthew 11:28. Sometimes I go to my girlfriends first because I want to “feel better” instead of seeking Godly counsel. I have to be very careful not to run my life on “feelings” but instead run my life according to His promises, His character and His truth because that is ALWAYS right. He is always faithful!!! Regardless of my unfaithfulness to Him. Blessings sisters

  2. Janet says:

    I too am struggling with friendships. I have some wonderful friends but they are too far away to get together with when I need to the most. I have recently had a Godly friend that I thought was flexible, who has made me feel like a terrible person without feelings for others. It has sent me into a depression that I can’t describe. I have to tell myself this too shall pass. I do know some wonderful Christian woman but now I am reluctant to share my soul with anyone. I need to pray for healing and the ability to trust again. It is sad that I now feel like I have to be careful who I share my life and feelings with.

  3. Stacey Robinson says:

    Right on time words. I really need Godly genuine friends as right now I have none. I have been praying for Gid to send some along the way and am still waiting. As right now am in a church but it’s as if I am alone no one to talk to who I can really trust. Please pray for me that God will send me some true trust worthy godly friends.

  4. Sherrie says:

    I don’t really have many friends, I had a friend but she gossiped about everyone and then she started gossiping about me too. I have one close lady friend who lives miles from me, she is not a christian, she really has no belief at all. My husband does not believe in heaven or hell, he really isn’t sure about God at all. My husband and I have a few couple friends, but like my husband everyone drinks, get’s drunk and it’s not me but they are all I have for friends. They are not close friends, we really don’t have much in common. How do I find new Godly friends

  5. Sherri says:

    Thank you Gwen for this post. It is exactly what I needed without even realizing it. Both my husband and I are fairly new in our faith, I mean we have always believed but we did not have a personal relationship with God nor attended church other than holidays. Due to changes in my husband’s job we moved from our home in Texas to Louisiana and then to Florida in just 3 years. Leaving our home to a place where you know not a single soul is hard. We were finally getting adjusted in Louisiana, which is where we rededicated our lives to God, and after only 2 1/2 years had to pack up and move to Florida where again, we knew not a single person. Even though we have found a church we love and joined a Wednesday night small group, I still feel isolated. Being new in my faith I have a lot to learn. Due to several factors, I have declined in making getting closer to God a priority. I believe being depressed has been the number one factor But I realized after reading your post this is exactly what I need. I need godly counsel. I need to make a connection with someone who can be my go to person. In a sense I need an accountability partner. Thanks for opening my eyes about something so simple yet so crucial to my spiritual growth.

  6. Tulip1 says:

    Gwen I’ve been going to my church for about 25 yrs. Things happened with my family and the Pastors of the extension church we attended at the time I felt was judgmental and so we decided not to atten. Now recently moved to another state and activrly attending our extentension of the same church I find myself alone and not having anyone to talk to or even vent to because I dont trust and I feel if I say to much I will get judged wrongly like the other extension church Pastors had. My family and I are very active I help a small group of woman but I feel so distance from my leaders and feel it’s a subject I dare not bring around any of them because they all stick together so ive been going to the Lord for this and am very careful of what I say and today yes I have no one to confide in that I can trust. What do I do?

  7. gert stevens says:

    Thank you for this wonderful, inspiring post! I am newly widowed and could use some friends like you have. I will pray on this today, I was easily able to name three, but I hate to bother people. God will help me, I know. Thank you again for your wonderful words of wisdom.

  8. Mina says:

    I prayed for a group of Godly friends to come into my life and they have. The difference in my circles today are like black and white. Without them I would not be in the wonderful place I’m in. They truly have helped me out of the pit and raised me to a better firm and faithful ground in which I walk daily on. I love my Godly friends.

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