Graceologie Episode 72: Monica Swanson
Is it really possible to raise children who are honorable, kind and confident?
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Monica Swanson joins me for episode #72 to talk about how you can raise honorable, kind and confident kids. Being a mom is a loud, beautiful, complicated adventure. Some days it feels as if you’re raising creatures from another planet. Other times you’re left breathless at the wonder of who your child is becoming. The truth is, we all desperately want to raise our children well… and there are lots of questions we face along the way. This discussion addresses lots of the questions parents ask. It's filled with road-tested, real-world advice and insights blended with biblical wisdom and compelling research that will give you some practical tools you need to love your children well and to parent today with their future in mind.
QUOTES & NOTES:
Parenting isn't about being perfect, it's about being authentic. Relationship is foundational.
Your kids are watching you and will pick up more of what you DO than what you SAY.
Be their parent, not their peer.
Got a wild child?
- Run him/her. Kids, especially boys, need to run off their energy. Let them move and get the wiggles out. Go to a park or a field.
- Train them. Teach them what the rules are through having training/practice sessions. "Ok! Let's pretend we're going to the grocery store! What are the rules?" (Teach them what their behavior should look like before they faced that situation.) Practice what it should look like when someone comes to the house to visit.
Kids need healthy freedoms, especially as they grow. (Take them places and let them climb a big hill, feel like they accomplished something, challenge them. )
OTHER SIMPLE IDEAS:
Read Bible stories to your kids.
Watch Veggie Tales.
Listen to Adventures in Odyssey.
Take them to AWANAS or a kids church program. As they grow, get them plugged in and connected with youth group or a small group Bible Study.
AND WHAT ABOUT TECHNOLOGY?
Deal with the heart first, more than rules.
Keep them busy doing activities that don't involve a device. (Run. Read. Climb Hills. Play an instrument.)
Establish household boundaries. Limit or eliminate games during the week. Physically put the gaming unit in the closet after using it so that it's less convenient to play.
Create a schedule/list of activities for your babysitter. (Go to the pool, color, playdough, read books, play music and dance, go to the park, swing on the swing set, shoot hoops...)
Teach your children the value of NO. (So often when we say no to something there is a relief in a kid's heart.) Being firm with your YES and NO gives your children a sense of security.
Got a strong willed child? Use the appeal process! The Bible promises that if kids honor their parents they will live long... The most important thing is that you OBEY and submit to authority. But kids also want to be heard. The appeal process is this: if you go away and accept our NO, then you think through your argument, come back with a strong case and present it. Hear them out. Then adjust or don't accordingly.
OTHER LINKS MENTIONED:
Monica's blog post that went viral: What a Teenage Boy Needs Most From His Mom
Amazing Benny Hester song: When God Ran ...