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I read the text in horror and disbelief.
How could he be gone? He was the picture of potential. So much going for him. He had been through so many challenges and had come so far. Achieved so many accolades. How could his world have crumbled so low that taking his life became the answer he turned to?
Shockwaves ripple through the core of my heart. A landslide of sorrow.
All who knew and loved him now grieve. In our homes. On social media. In our conversations. In our prayers. In our hearts.
We grieve deep with a pain that stings fierce.
We grieve for his family, for the empty seat at their dinner table and the empty gape in their hearts and home. We grieve for his friends, our children, his teammates and our community. We grieve because death hurts.
As we gathered in community to celebrate his life many stories were shared. In the sacred sanctuary of God’s presence, we were reminded that God is the healer of the broken. We were reminded that death is not the end for those that place their faith in Christ. We were reminded to cherish those we love and to keep our eyes wide open to the needs of those around us.
The pastor painted a canvas of Hope as he spoke. Each word a stroke of truth. A smattering of grace in full and vibrant color. He shared from the Word of God about the Word made flesh: our Hope, Jesus.
And then this… “Our friend did not die of hopelessness, he died of brokenness.”
Oh, my soul.
How does one who is surrounded by a community of love feel broken to the point of death? To the point of thinking that suicide is a solution to the pain?
I struggle to breathe.
I consider the lives I love that are tortured by depression and sigh inwardly.
The weight of it all sits heavy on my heart.
Inwardly I speak to the Father. I pour my heart out to the Comforter and sense His peace in the middle of the grief. The burden is still with me, but the pressure of it is lightened in His presence. And I’m reminded that His strength comes to me as I yoke myself to Jesus and allow Him to share in the carrying of my grief. In doing so, I am locked into His power that walks with me step by step through the struggle.
When life is jagged and darkness taunts us like a bully, how can we see beyond the despair that grips us?
I surely don’t have a simple list of answers, but I do know this: when grief runs deep God’s comforting love runs deeper still. {TWEET this!}
The peace we long for and the rest we are desperate for will always be found in the arms of Jesus. And those arms are constantly reaching out to us.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29)
This is the invitation Jesus gives to each of us.
If you find yourself in a place of unrest… if you are trying to sift through a landslide of soul sorrow… if you are carrying a heavy load, will you turn toward Hope and accept His invitation right now?
Dear Lord,
Please help me bring my grief to You. Thank You for being a God of hope and healing. Remind me of the peace and plans you have for me.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
Thanks for doing life with me. Please consider sharing this with a friend who is struggling.
Warmly in Christ,
Gwen
FOR YOUR REFLECTION and RESPONSE
Read Isaiah 41:10. What two things does God not want you to do? Why? What three things does He promise to do for you? How will these promises affect the way you deal with your challenges today?
Who is one person you know that is struggling and in need of encouragement right now? How will you encourage her/him?
JOIN ME in a FREE seven-day reading plan into a bigger, deeper and more significant relationship with God taken from my upcoming book I Want it All.
Comments 4
I struggled to read this but felt comfort from God as I did. It hit too close to home as my son, a month to the date shy of his 17th birthday, just took his life on the 10th. With the pain and wound so fresh I cling to God and his promises to prosper me not to harm me to give me hope and a future. I last saw my son 3 months ago, after not seeing him for 2 1/2 years, when he came to visit me in the hospital when I was hit by a car as I biked to work that morning. Also we had to move a month after I got home from the hospital and didn’t have a place till the day we had to be out of our house. A week after I was home my husband’s father had a stroke, and three days after my sons passing his grandma passed away. He is to undergo surgery on his spinal cord that will leave him not able to move his neck for a min of 3 months and a long road of recovery. The Lord is my rock and my redeemer my provider my healer. Through Him I find my strength.
I want so badly to reach out to you and offer some sort of help. The survivors of suicide are a family and those of us who are rooted together in Faith need to step up for those who are hurting. We lost my brother just shy of his 22nd birthday. Other events similar to yours happened around that time as well. I am in Austin, TX if you are anywhere nearby, I would love to help in any way I can. How do we trade contact info without it going public?
I praise God that he was holding me the day I tried to commit suicide. Me a Christian, with a loving husband, son, daughter and mother who have been trying to help me since my nervous breakdown – how could I possibly want to take my own life, my first attempt was a gun, but my daughter, Allison, kept me from getting to it, a few days later the knife I used to try to slit my wrist and then my throat. The Lord took me in his arms and gently placed me on the kitchen floor and I went to sleep, my husband found me on the kitchen floor. It wasn’t time for me to go, that was in July, I struggle daily to find my purpose, my world is now my home as this breakdown 4 years ago has caused me to no longer work, no driving, friends hmmm where did they go? Now I speak the name of Jesus when I get up, I recently became a member of Gwen’s Street Team, I look for encouraging scripture and music. I am so blessed by my family and their support but mental illness is real, sometimes they are baffled by all this but we are learning to take one hour, day, evening at a time. Thank you dear Lord for your word, that I can find comfort,help, strength, Isaiah 41:10.
I just can not tell you the depth and breadth of the need to hold you so close and tight and just hug the hurt away. Thank you for being brave enough to share. Thank you for being brave enough to get out of bed with Jesus name on your lips. I don’t know you but I love you with a deep and abiding Love. My brother did not make it through his mental anguish but it brings me such peace to know that you are able to put on foot of Faith in front of the other. Lord love you and keep you!