Life Is a Tug of War

Gwen Smith Blog, Christian Living, Devotions, Encouragement, Holy Spirit, Scripture 114 Comments

Hebrews 6.19

I grew up in a small town in a big family just outside of Pittsburgh, PA. When I was a little girl, one of the highlights of every summer was going to our family reunion at White Oak Park. Now, some people dread family reunions, but as a kid – I loved them – and here’s why: we had some really fun games…and I love to play games!

My brothers and my sisters and my cousins (and my second cousins) played all types of games against each other and got to take home some fun prizes and penny candy. We had sack races, where we’d jump across a long, grassy field in burlap sacks. We had three-legged races, eating competitions, and a big treasure hunt that was so much fun! Then after the kid games were all done, the adults would join us for a final competition: the tug of war.

I don’t remember if there was any rhyme or reason as to how the teams were formed, but I do remember this – everyone always wanted my dad to be on their team. He was really strong! So when it came to tug-of-war, wherever my Dad went, I went. He would position himself at the far end of the rope as our anchor. Though there may have been 20 people on each side of the rope, and though the advantage would often volley from one team to another, it was usually the strength of my dad that would help our team gain traction and, ultimately, win the game.

Every day we live out a faith adventure that takes us to a different type of tug-of-war: a battle that we fight against the invisible. On the enemy’s side of the rope, the opponents are lined up, ready to take you down and pull you into a pit: fear, doubt, guilt, insecurity, comparison, inadequacy and lies.  On the faith side of the rope, standing firm and ready to fight are: confidence, identity in Christ, compassion, forgiveness, competence and truth.

RECOGNIZE that the battle is real and PREPARE for the fight:

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.” (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Bring it on

WAGE WAR with the WORD:

“So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. Jesus has already gone in there for us. He has become our eternal High Priest in the order of Melchizedek.” (Hebrews 6:18-20, NLT)

Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33b)

Say to yourself, “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalm 42:5)

Pray with the psalmist, “Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” (Psalm 25:5, NIV)

Yes… life is a tug of war – but we are not without hope or help. As we move into a fresh year, be sure to decide which end of the rope you’d like to pick up. If you’re anything like me, you’ll want to pick the faith side – because our Dad (our Abba Father) is the anchor of strength and hope that helps us gain traction in every battle of life.

Lord, Surely there is a battle raging around me! At times it knocks me down and hits me hard. Please be the anchor of hope and strength that I need right now. Hold me secure and pull me through each trial I am facing. Help me to remember who I am in You. In Jesus’ name, amen.


FOR YOUR REFLECTIONS and RESPONSE: Consider these questions: What pit is the devil trying to pull you in? Who can pull you up from the pit or keep you from the edge to begin with? (Read Psalm 40:1-3) What are you going to do in light of this?

Leave a comment below telling me what your tug of war looks like today. Let’s pray together. I really love to hear from you and to watch the wall light up when we encourage one another!

broken-book-cartAre you struggling to trust that God’s got the anchor position of your life rope? Learn how He wants to bring you beyond your past heart-wounds and your present challenges to His wholeness, strength and beauty. Broken into Beautiful is a book filled with stories – real stories … gritty and honest, not cleaned up and phony. It’s also filled with Scripture that will inspire you toward the life-changing grace of Jesus.

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Comments 114

  1. My tug of war is extreme depression and anxiety that started when I left my marriage 8 years ago and intensified after a job loss 2 years ago. I am struggling with both guilt and loneliness and though I am spending more time in church and praying and asking for prayer and in my past I have always found comfort in God, I am rapidly losing my battle even with extensive Christian therapy and medication for depression.

    1. Hi NC. Are you verbally(out loud) rebuking satan and replacing your thoughts with Gods truth? Also, on days that my anxiety gets high I pray and ask for the Holy Spirit to control my mind and my day. To go before me and intercede on my behalf. Have you ever heard of Neil Anderson’s “steps to freedom”? Sounds like there could be some bondage in your life that maybe you are unaware of.

    2. I hope I didn’t come across as rude or offend with my response. I deal with anxiety and these are tools I have used to help me. You are not alone.

  2. My tug of war is loneliness and failure. As a working mom, I feel that I mostly don’t manage to do anything right. I rush from one place to another and rarely have time to socialise. I feel so disorganised and disempowered that I feel no one would want to visit me or spend time with me unless I do something for them. My marriage is shaky and so am I! God has blessed me so much in the last while and I know he is there for me, but Satan’s attack is still so insistent!

  3. Dear Gwen,
    What I lovely, fun & inspiring post!
    I Love the Scriptures & the way you share the humor in your writing, feels as though I was there in the tug of war.
    And for sure we are everyday, let us stand together Claiming the Victories Christ has Won for us!
    Blessed 2014!

  4. Hi Gwen and goodmorning…My tug of war is with marijuan. I have tried and tried to ccompletely stop, but it’s a strong hold…I have fasted,prayed and have even been successful at stopping but it only takes a thought and desire and there I go again. Please pray for me. I love God and His word. I go to Church and Bible Study. I could completely stop doing other sins but this one here is always been like that tug of war you described. Thank you for praying for me. Oh my name is Gloria. Your testimony and short story has really inspired me. I would love to continue to have you in my life for I know this not just a coincidence. It is a divine connection. Please respond. Thankyou so much.

  5. My battle is with despair. Fresh out of a heart wrenching, hurt causing relationship (that was totally wrong in the first place), my battle is with all the voices that are saying no one will ever love me and I shall be lonely for the rest of my life. BUT my Anchor is in the Lord who has promised he will never leave me or forsake me. The love He has for me was demonstrated 2000 years ago on the cross of Calvary. Which is why I know that no matter how loud they get… those voices are wrong!! Have a blessed day. 🙂

  6. My tug of war is in my marriage. So much has happened in 14 years and walls are up with resentment. I am praying for direction, my husband seems depressed and angry. It seems impossible but I know with God all things are possible. I just want to make the best decision

  7. My tug of war in life is falling prey to temptation after God has already revealed to me I need to move on. It is my earnest prayer that as God speaks I would listen and move swiftly into his will. First time obedience would be the path I choose knowing and trusting in the will of the Lord. Thank you so much.

  8. January 6, 2014

    Dear Gwen:
    Thank you for your January 3 email about Life’s Tug of War. After reading your blog about other sister’s “pits”, mine seems very insignificant!

    At this point in my life I have been through a great many “Tug’s of War”. I’m 76 years old, a widow for the past 19 years, and was laid off my job, along with 600 other people, just three years ago. My 50-year-old son came to live with me 10 years ago because he was ill, his 2nd wife had left him following complications of diabetes including a two heart attacks (he died and was resuscitated with the last attack), a couple of strokes, kidney disease, and COPD. Shortly after the layoff, I discovered that he had been allowing a 30-year old homeless woman to live here during the hours I worked for two years, which explained the identity theft and disappearance of silver, food, clothing, prescription medication, cosmetics, etc.

    My son was born again into GOD’S family, at 10 years of age, when our pastor led him to the LORD 40-years ago. Chuck has always had a burning desire to tell his friends in particular and anyone he meets, about GOD’S great love for them and how our great GOD sacrificed his only son for every sinner. Homeless people seem to be drawn to him.

    Chuck has always been a good son in every way, but it was discussed and understood that if he wanted to remarry or entertain his lady friends it could not be here as my home is very small and really only adequate for one person or possibly an older couple.

    He said he cares for this woman and her 3 children whom CPS (child protective services) had removed from her care, but did not want to marry her because of her documented mental disabilities: bi-polar, schizophrenia, sociopath, and delusional. He has been trying to persuade her to go into many programs over the past 3-years and is occasionally successful but she is always locked out of every program for breaking the rules or attacking other patients or the workers. Her mother suffered the same disabilities before she died while living in the street; her relatives have refused to associate with her since she physically abused her now deceased grandmother.

    Every time, we find her standing on our front porch, usually in the rain, a scorching hot day, or a very cold day; my son opens the door and lovingly welcomes her back. He wants me to allow her to live here and help him take care of her in spite of the fact that she tried to set him on fire, attempted to stab him with a screwdriver, and threatened me physical harm if I refuse to allow her to live here. Chuck says that is not really her but an alternate personality or the many “voices” she hears.

    I have always refused her pleas to live with us though I have provided transportation when she was allowed to see her children before they were adopted, or to go to a women’s shelter for counseling or a program. Needless to say, I have witnessed to her about my savior because I know GOD loves her and can meet her right where she is, with or without disabilities; her response was that she has been “saved” at least 50 times at churches all over the city and state.

    The Pit the devil is trying to pull me into is my frustration with my son and my sanity. GOD forgive me, I have a very unchristian feeling toward this obnoxious 33-year old mentally ill woman who refuses all help from professionals and insists that she is supposed to live with us. I’m disgusted with her filthy language, hearing about her life as a stripper, and bragging about all the men she successfully blackmailed by coaching her children to falsely claim these men had molested them.

    For the past 4-months she has been sleeping under our cars or in the bushes until my son unlocked his old car (against my wishes) he has been restoring and allowed her to sleep there since the weather became so cold. Neighbors have complained and called the authorities about her yelling, and relieving herself on their property as well as ours. She is taken to the local mental health facility, if they can catch her, and released the next day because she refuses medication or their help. Mental health counselors tell us they cannot force her to stay or to go into a program until she seriously hurts someone or is seriously hurt. I wait patiently for the LORD’S intersession. Thank you for your prayers dear friends in Christ. Nancy

    Psalm 40:1-3 Good News Translation (GNT)
    A Song of Praise
    40 I waited patiently for the Lord’s help;
    then he listened to me and heard my cry.
    2 He pulled me out of a dangerous pit,He pulled me out of a dangerous pit,
    out of the deadly quicksand.
    He set me safely on a rock
    and made me secure.
    3 He taught me to sing a new song,He taught me to sing a new song,
    a song of praise to our God.
    Many who see this will take warning
    and will put their trust in the Lord.
    40 I waited patiently for the Lord’s help;
    then he listened to me and heard my cry.
    2 He pulled me out of a dangerous pit,He pulled me out of a dangerous pit,
    out of the deadly quicksand.
    He set me safely on a rock
    and made me secure.
    3 He taught me to sing a new song,He taught me to sing a new song,
    a song of praise to our God.
    Many who see this will take warning
    and will put their trust in the Lord.

  9. Sometimes I get behind reading my GIG, I’m glad that I was behind! These are truths I needed to hear today. My tug-of-war is having a daughter that has a mood disorder that makes life miserable for everyone, and my husband, who works for family that are not believers, is on the verge of loosing his job. I know that God is bigger than all of this and that He has a plan, and that His plan is for our good, but sometimes knowing all of that doesn’t make it any easier.

  10. My tug of war is with my ex husband. I didn’t want the divorce, and it seems like every time talk of reconciliation comes up something happens in him and he pulls away. He goes from being sweet and charming to down right cruel. I want my husband and family back so badly, but do I continue to pursue what I hope and pray for, or let it go?

  11. My tug of war is physical, which in turn becomes emotional as well. I have been diagnosed with breast cancer again, but this time it returned in my bones and is stage IV. I am trusting God for healing–I am 45 with a wonderful husband and a beautiful 7 year old daughter. The doctors tell me there is no cure, but I know that ALL things are possible with God!!! It seems each turn brings a little more negative news (now surgery because the medicine I take has caused an unusual endometrial biopsy). I know it is all a journey and I use God’s word as a shelter! I truly believe that everything is with purpose–I just pray that whatever I am going through, may I edify god in my actions and may positive things occur in the midst of everything!!!!

    1. I am praying for you!!! You are right, with God all things are possible. Stay strong, you can do this! I’m going to keep you in my prayers, please keep me updated if possible. ((()))

  12. I read this blog an instantly was touched and moved. Lady’s I feel your hurt and pain on pretty much every issue that has been talked about. Personally I can say the last 10 years of my life have been a tug of war from being abused, divorce, custody battles, crippling car accident that has left me permently in a wheel chair with limited function, depression to the piont of 5 suicide attempts, being in constant pain which has only gotten worse these last few years, and as if that wouldn’t be enough to pull anyone over the edge my husband has been battling with a drug addition for so many years. The up and down battle here is the hardest when you watch how God uses him in the life of others when he’s sober and walking with him to lossing everything to the point of of being homeless trying to get back on our feat. I still have issues with anger and learning where to draw the line in trusting him. As I tell you all these things which I told you not so that you focus on them but so you can see that I can relate and I been where so many of you are. I also want you to know evil knows its time it running very short so the attacks are going to pick up. Before you loss heat let me share how God has used all these things to help me grow far more then I ever could without them. Prayer is important, praise and thanking God for everything and I don’t mean that in a lump it all together prayer then go back to focusing on everything that is wrong. Might I suggest that you thank God for everything from the air you breath to the clothes you wear, the hands that work and the legs that allow you to walk. It has taken me lots of being flat busted to learn to trust God with everything. Remind your self that if God cares for the birds an they have no worries and how much more value you are to him than the bird that he cares for you. Take some quite time alone the your bibles and don’t just read study. Remember that troubled times are used by God to refine us. For those who are feeling weighed down by past mistakes I have great news all your sins were forgiven already 2000 years ago every sin you could ever or will ever make has been forgiven and washed away. So when evil tries to bring you back under condemnation in you head and out loud proclaim ” I know I am a sinful person but PRAISE GOD I AM FORGIVEN” repeat over and over God is not mad at me he loves me and I am the righteousness of Christ and a precious child of God. Now you can just say this once twice or even a handful of times but over and over and the same advice when it comes to learning to trust God in all thing. Tell your self out loud over and over that you trust God with whatever you face. When we focus on Jesus we rise above the stromy waters but like Peter when we focus on the waves we sink. Other things we must remember and help us battle evil are to go help someone it doesn’t matter if it is helping someone who can’t clean clean, or baking cookies to give out around the neighborhood. The things I have found that help me be a women after the heart of God is even though I can’t physically help others I can pray for their needs. It has helped me get of the self centered wanting God to be the genie god prayers. I have watched God show up and do awesome things and use me in ways I would of never guessed. Do not loss heart my dear sisters you are dearly loved wanted and desired and Our God has picked you and chosen you for a job and has perpuse for each of you. Do not worry about tomorrow or what it will bring for each day has enough worry of its own. Thank you all for being so open and honest and your encouragement for each other is from God. As I am still facing my own battles still but our hope is knowing the victory has already been won and one day these prestent troubles will be no more.

  13. My tug of war is my family. I would love for my brothers and sisters to love one another and to share the life’s of their children with love to understand and forgive each other to be their with Gods unconditional Love.My tug of war is heavy it is real. But I know my God is the strength that I have to renew my self everyday to be as positive and optimistic that it is all possible with The Lord our King.I pray that my nephews and nieces and brothers and sisters will understand each other and that they will love and understand each other and love like our God that loves us no matter what. That they will forgive each other as God forgives us.Please help me to give me the strength to with stand all the battles that come through my path that God will send His Holy Spirit to minister to them with peace and love and patience. Thank you for my prayer God Bles You all in Jesus name amen.

  14. My tug of war is infidelity. I am in despair. I found out 6 weeks ago that my husband had an 18 month affair. How can I go on anymore? I’m in the pit, I’m praying all of time to God to please rescue me, and my children from this pain. I have trouble believing that we will be ok. Please pray for all of us, including my husband, for I would love for our marriage to work out, but am having trouble with hope.

  15. I fear I have put the battle of the mind over my spiritual thoughts. I used to go to sleep with songs of praise in my mind and wake up with the same. Now I barely sleep and only think of my only son, who is 28. I know God has a calling on his life and the enemy is trying to take him down. This is a child who prayed, spoke of the Lord to everyone and was slain in the spirit at the age of 8. Many things have happened in the years to follow including the death of his closest cousin at the age of 11 to leukemia. his grandfather when he was only 9 who he cherished, his mentor and close friend who he thought of as a dad at the age of 19 and his football career in a car accident as a senior in HS due to the next few years of facing surgeries. Then the multiple medications that the doctors gave him and before you know it , he is addicted. For the next 10 years I watched my 28 yo son struggle with addiction. He went away to rehab April of 2012 and stayed clean till July 2013. Then he thought he could drink a little, and use steroids to enhance his performance at the gym…and so on. Then he used again and we talked about it. I told him I was scared and he said he is terrified. He struggles with trust now, he can’t decide who and what to do to stop his mind from the torment and so do I. I weep for hours for him at times, praying that God will not allow this demon to take over once again. I am weak, I am sad all the time, my thought are consumed by this. I cry out to the Lord continually, not for me but for him. I am not new at this I gave my life to Christ 35 years ago, and it has definitely been a rollercoaster for me. Believe me when I tell you I could write a novel…along with my family. I am an overcomer, I am a survivor, I have trusted and have seen the hand of the Lord on my life over and over. I have seen miracles happen right in front of me and in me. I have heard his voice clearly, I have given people prophetic words, I council….and so on, but this one thing has consumed me. I want to completely trust and allow God to do what he needs to do, I need to get out of HIS way. My heart aches. I can not deny I am scared.

  16. My tug of war seems so trivial! I am going to drive to San Fran next week of the first time of my 69yrs and am already sweating ‘the bullet’ and it is not here yet. I keep praying that it will be ok and The Lord will be driving with me behind the wheel. Yet, that little voice of the unknown, new experience pops up on and off. And yes, I do need prayer for it.
    Thank you, and love you for all you do for all the ‘girlfriends’.

  17. I am going through the same thing, it’s been 3 months and the burden is extremely heavy. I was completely different person a year ago and now I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I feel no joy, I feel no compassion, I feel fear and I don’t understand it all. This past year has been the most difficult spiritual battle I have ever faced. I’m not sure what happened, but I felt whacked sideways in October and it has sent me spinning into alot of confusion and uncertainty about everything. The inner battle is ruthless and I pray daily that God will forgive my thoughts and not let me be conformed to the pattern of this world. I just want to feel His love again, i so desperately miss it. I don’t know this person I’ve become at all. Even through clinging to prayer, and constantly asking for prayer, the mental assault is lightening, but it’s still there, and I just want it to go away. I just pray that God will forgive my mind for this attack. I don’t know where it came from, and it’s horrifying. Please pray that my relationship with God will be renewed and strengthened and my faith will increase again. I’m so scared, I have never, ever been like this and I want it to be over. :*( Thank you, I appreciate your blog!

    1. I am pretty much exactly in the same place you are in. The mental assault has been brutal. Know that you are not alone. All I want is to have a clear mind and be freed from this attack. Know that you are not alone. It’s hard. So very hard. I don’t know what your mental assault is but find scriptures to speak outloud against the lies. It helps me a lot. My attack causes me great anxiety so I pray specifically against fear and anxiety. In sorry that you are going through this. I heard Beth Moore a while a back say that if our struggles/trials had no purpose then God would say no. Know that this is for a season. It’s to know that God is in control but He is. I’ll be praying specifically for you because I know that this is just so hard. You will overcome this because you are a daughter of te King. Remind Satan that you are a chosen daughter Who is clothed in righteousness. Praying. Please don’t hesitate to email me if you ever need prayer.

      1. A year ago I was in a very different place. I was watching the sky for Jesus’ return and telling everyone to be ready. I was witnessing to people and ready for battle. I was ministering to a group of women online and we were Warriors of the Word (WOW). I grew up in a Christian home and had a very strong personal relationship with Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior since I was 15. He provided so much for me in my lifetime and I give Him all the glory. My life has been a testimony to others that God knew needed to hear the same story. I know His Word, I’ve read it through many times and the truth of it cuts to the core. God blessed me with victory through so much that I encountered last year and I praised Him for being with me….then in October, whammo, I was sitting next to my husband watching a movie and out of the blue, I just freaked out, major attack. I haven’t been the same since. It really knocked me sideways. At this point, I’m very uncertain about anything anymore and I’m very scared and very sad. I also feel bad for my family, they don’t understand any of it either, but my husband is very patient and lets me freak out when the attacks are strong. I just need a total 101% inside out healing and transformation, this is really going to take a miracle, I am more than ready, I am tired of living in fear and I truly see that we all need a Savior, without Him we are NOTHING. Everyone needs an opportunity to know Jesus, that’s our calling as believers. I just feel like a tremendous hypocrite right now and I am so confused. Any prayers are deeply appreciated, thank you so much!!

  18. My tug of war is confusion and stress so many things coming at me and not sure the right direction to take. Seems like I keeping reaching out to God but nothing changes. I am still trying to hold on to Him and His Word. Please pray with me that I continue to hold on to Him and discern His direction for my life.

  19. I have come upon a life challenge that has been riding on my shoulders for over 30 years. I have epilepsy. Three years ago my husband divorced me to marry a woman who he had been having an affair with in our church. I lost my home, all my possessions, and my church. I wandered between family members, trying desperately to find a home. I cannot drive, due to the seizures I have-anywhere from 5 to 10 a month. I am now living with my loving Mom & Stepdad, and I believe I have found my home, finally.
    On Monday I am going into the hospital to have more tests to see if there is anything that the doctors can do to release me from these horrible seizures so that I may live a ‘normal’ life.
    Please pray for me, that something can be done to release me from this horrible disease.

  20. My tug of war, is I want to be closer to God. I’ve been reading my bible and going to church regularly. When I walk in to church I can feel his presence. I want to feel like that all the time.

  21. Todays GFG was simply put, PERFECT! for my life today was under spiritual warfare against some very evil forces. I see them for what they are now, but at the moment of my adversaries attack I took it very personal and reacted in not such a compassionate manner. My husband with which whom is also undergoing severe spiritual warfare as of late was not aware of the devils pressence at all and attached it literally to me. Ive been worried about him and his paranoid behavior has increasingly become worse since his back injury and loss of his career due to the injury. He is allowing the devil a stronghold by not holding everything captive to the Lord. Its rather scary at times, but I just retreat to reading the word of God and prayer. But my fear is he has built this up in his head to be truth and its not it lies.

  22. My tug of war is my son Michael (25 yrs old). He is an alcoholic and struggling to accept he has a problem. I picked him up to take him to a doctor’s appointment and he was drunk. It sadden me because am paying for everything to help him but he is not putting 100% of himself. Has a bachelor degree and not making an effort to use it. I will continue to pray even though my eyes see things differently. I will trust God.

  23. My tug a war looks like this…. My husband and I have been going through marital problems now for 6months. Back in August he started a relationship with a young girl I didn’t come to find our until late September I of course confronted him and he told me that it was indeed true. He told me that he wanted a divorce and that our marriage was over and he no longer loved me. I of course was and still am devastated how ever I became pregnant after trying for 4 years and some fertility treatments the Lord choice this very time for my husband and I to conceive our very first baby. Needless to say we are still going through this he is still seeing this girl he has not changed his ways and he did up until recently treat me and called me foul and hurtful things. I want to much to believe and trust that God has a plan for us and our marriage but going through this has been by far one of the most difficult trials I have faced. Please pray for us I need to know I’m not crazy for staying and fighting for my marriage an family that I’m not crazy for still loving my husband.

  24. My tug of war is very prematurely allowing my thoughts to dwell internally on the end of 2014 when my current employment contract expires. I worry about what’s next but I know I’ll be fine. I’m committed to giving my life into Gods hands but I do struggle in not knowing my future. My goal is to commit myself to knowing God better this year.

  25. I’m in a tug of war with my faith. I believe that God is real and that the Bible is the word of God, but I’m not really sure why I believe it. I have grown up in the faith, but I have always envied those who didn’t. You know, those people who heard the voice of God call them out of their lives of sin. I haven’t been through any significant hardships (believe me I know that’s a good thing) ,and I have been on the straight and narrow all my life. I know that the blood of Christ saves me, but I don’t really feel like i’m saved from anything. My head knows it, but my heart doesn’t feel it. I just don’t want to go through the motions.

    1. Dear Kenesha
      I am one of those saved from a life of sin and I understand your viewpoint. My daughter has voiced comments like those. She has been raised in a strong Christian home and loves God, but that is all she has known. I went through an awful time as a teenager, with rebellion, being kicked out of home and drinking to cope with it all. I would hate any of that to happen to my children and I guess my tug of war is a constant fear that they would be ‘in the world’ and be exposed to the lifestyle that I was raised in.
      But, you don’t need to have had this ‘other’ life to experience the amazing grace of our Father. Paul said in 2 Timothy 14 “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believed, knowing those from whom you learned and that from childhood you have known the sacred scriptures, which are able to instruct you for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.”
      You have an amazingly strong platform to stand on and be a blessing to others. i wish I didn’t walk through life with all the baggage that I come with. I know God has healed me, but I still live with the consequences of how I lived.
      God has blessed you in that He has protected you from many of the struggles that I am reading on this page.
      Use your strong platform and go out in prayer warfare and you will witness firsthand the amazing spiritual battle that is raging. You don’t need to be saved from a life of sin, please ask God to show you any strongholds in your life, because we all have them and then go and pray for the women that are writing here. You will witness healing and love and changed lives, like you have never seen before and you will see God move in your life and others.
      with love in Christ, Tracey

  26. Please pray for our house to sell in South Dakota. My family has now moved to a different state and are renting and still making house payments. We have 5 children and come May 1st we will be totally out of $ to pay for 2 house payments. Leaning on our Lord to pull us through this. I don’t want to worry but it is so hard not to. Thank you so much for praying.

  27. My tug of war is the anxious, fearful, thoughts the devil tries to fill my mind with, when I’ve gotten a sure Word from The Lord .

  28. I am so weak in faith as I have taken my eyes off Jesus and have been focusing most on my problems. Now I feel like stuck and don’t know what to do to get out. The devil really has me cornered but I wont give up hope. I’m trying to have consistent devotion but sometimes I feel so drained from taking care of the family and working that I dont have nithing else to iffer God. But I’m not giving up. I’m going to take it one step at a time and I know that someday his strength will be made perfect in my weakness. Please pray for me.

  29. My tug of war is guilt over the past. I was saved a few months ago, and can’t let go of some horrible things I did in the past…things I knew I shouldn’t do, but out of selfishness did anyway. I know I am forgiven, but I don’t always feel forgiven. Satan loves to get in my head and tell me all the reasons God could never accept me.

  30. My tug of war is with the past. My husband and I have past issues coming back to haunt us that could potentially affect our future. I need hope and strength to get through this. I have to remember to put my hope in God and trust that He will deliver us from this situation. This devotional today really hit on what I needed to hear.

  31. I’ve been in a huge tug of war the past couple of weeks at work. I’ve been praying for a co-worker who is not a believer. We have had a great relationship for 2 years, and I was sure that God was moving in her heart. Then….long, painful story….we had a “disagreement”….and she has now totally written me out of her life, and will only converse with me on a professional level (we are nurses). I am simply sick over this. It feels like a spiritual battle…and I’ve no doubt that it is. She is so angry….

  32. My tug of war is the attack I am under from my sister. She has come out as gay and is engaged to her partner. My sister sent me an email telling in vague terms that she is surprised I practice Christianity because of how it preaches against homosexuality. Her request was that if I loved her unconditionally then how can I be a Christian. How can I believe in a God who doesn’t allow for homosexuality? That God and a book should evolve because people have evolved. Then she tells me I have a right to practice and believe what I want, but that there is no way I really love her. I can list hundreds of times and examples of how I love my sister. I feel this rift growing between us. I choose to believe the Bible – and it’s teachings and that God does not have to change for any one. I fear this is going to cause a larger rift within the family as her expectation for me to change because of her lifestyle. Please pray for her and me. All I can do is love her like Jesus loves her, unconditionally, while saying to myself God is the same today as He was yesterday as He will be tomorrow.

    1. I feel for you, Chanelle, and you are right…just love the sinner, not the sin, and continue to shine God’s light. I should know..I was the bad girl in my family, and a week before my 42nd birthday, accepted Christ. My sister has been a faithful follower of God most of her life, and she never stopped praying for me. When I began to see the sin in my life, she was the one person I knew I could ask for help. She never wavered from her faith. I will pray that God will answer your prayers, too. Don’t give up, and when her world comes drashing down, be there for her with Jesus’ love!

  33. My tug of war is with our material possessions that threaten to undo us. We have a large commercial bldg. that we purchased in good times, but now it sits have empty, sucking the life out of our bank account and savings. Please pray for the bldg. to be sold, so we can resume our lives again, with the devil taunting us each day. It is beginning to cause a rift in our marriage, and thats what bothers me the most.

  34. My tug of war is the fear of being left alone. I have been hurt so much and have grasped on to God so much, that I want a break. Sometimes I ask the “why” questions and the enemy tries to creep in. But I am holding on, holding on tight to God’s promises. I pray for healing in my heart, healing in my current relationship, and that I become stronger and roots grow deeper in my relationship with God.

  35. After a year of trying to become a faithful and obedient child of God, I have come to realize that “my tug of war” is an OCD condition that leaves permanent scares on my body, which is His temple. After thinking that I am doing much better compared to a year and a half ago with depression, I still have some unresolved issues. I ask that you will pray for me to have wisdom and understanding when the Holy Spirit is nudging me with one of them. That He will guide me to the resources needed to resolve these issues. Strength and courage to find victory in overcoming these issues and condition. Thank You.

  36. My tug of war at the moment is believing that God is going to provide. I’m going on a missionary trip at the end of January to China and I know its His calling but, I’m not seeing the provision. I need to buy my ticket in order to apply for the Visa which usually takes about 3 weeks. I started doubting myself this week and I don’t want to! I’m asking God for a miracle. I’m going to stand in faith. Thanks!

    Noeris Gil

  37. This is the toughest storm of my entire life….and there have been a few. My husband and I moved to a new city where I know few people. Previously we were in TX with lots of friends and involvement. After living here a few months, we fought a lot and he left me. He has been dating, partying and has now said he’s divorcing me. I have no kids, but want them desperately but age is a factor. My dog died last month. My family has never been supportive and I grew close to his family. This is the first holiday season without his family, him and the dog in 9 years. I don’t sleep without Meds and I’ve lost a lot of weight. I have NO idea what Gods plan is but I’m prayerful and trying to remain encouraged but it is hard.

    1. Renee, Ugggh! What an awful place you must be in, and I am so so sorry… 🙁 I am lifting you up in prayer, that the Lord would bless you with His overwhelming presence and grace, not to mention the wisdom to know what to do to get through this time. I stumbled upon a free resource a month ago, but which can also be a paid thing, which can provide you some help in fighting for your marriage, even if your spouse is unwilling to work on things. As a last resort, if you have finances, you might want to check it out. Or if not, maybe subscribe to the free portion of marriage advice, that is emailed daily? Who knows, it could help. I have only subscribed to the free portion, but the guy does sound like he has some marriage wisdom. I am hurting with you, and can’t imagine the pain you are feeling. I am praying that no matter what, that the Lord would reveal Himself to you constantly, and help you to be ok, and to see that you are worthy to be loved, no matter if your husband does not yet have that ability to love you. Please, as hard as it is, reach out to a local church, join a women’s Bible study, and be in contact with your friends from Texas, asking them for support, phone calls, maybe a plane trip back to regroup, prayer, etc. Can you afford counseling? This has been monumental in my life, in healing and finding peace with some of my struggles in life. I pray for peace, rest, and much love. I pray the Lord would encourage you with much hope and reveal Himself to you that He is in fact your anchor. <3

      1. Thank you Katrina. Your encouraging words mean a lot. I have two good friends who have come to visit. Even though I wasn’t the best company, it was great to have someone around. I haven’t found a church here, but you are right I need to. We were both very involved in TX in a church. I think the lack of a church family contributed to the breakdown. Again, thank you and please continue to keep me in prayer. I’m going to check out the website you sent now. Thank you.

        1. Yes, I have been praying and will continue to keep you in prayer. I pray that you will find a loving family and full support right where you are, and for much wisdom and guidance to know how to navigate through this difficult time!

  38. My tug of war is with having doubt. My husband and I have been going through some tough times and we have both found God but sometimes it is so hard to “put on the armor” and fight for us. At times I want to be selfish and I know that is the Devil talking. I know the right thing to do is to not listen to him and listen to God’s word but sometimes that is just so hard.

  39. Please pray for my emotional healing. I replied to another post, that I have ptsd and I just need a huge dose of freedom from fear, anger, sorrow, pain, and bondage. I want to live closer to God but feel sometimes like I will never change. That’s the enemy’s voice. He is constantly filling my head and heart with negative thoughts and lies about how I dont measure up as a woman, to my husband and how my husband desires other women over me. But my husband is a very loving man but I still live in fear and have trouble seeing that Im safe and that I am valuable and worthy to be loved. Please help pray! Im in a constant battle and often I feel like satan is winning :(I Thank you.

    1. I, too, struggle with fear and also anxiety. My story is different from yours but it’s the same enemy waging war against us. How I combat my fears and anxieties is praying scripture outloud and rebuking the lies that satan is telling me. I wake up and try to put on the armor of God every morning and remember who I am in Christ. Taking our thoughts captive takes practice and if you have to rebuke and capture every minute then do it! Tell satan who you are outloud. A daughter of the King, chosen and righteous. I’ll be praying for you. I don’t know exactly how you feel but I know the struggles I am pressing through right now. You are not alone. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing.

      1. Thank you for the good advice. I am trying to get better at the rebuking satan, and speaking God’s truth over my life thing. Thank you for your encouragement and care! I am praying for your struggle as well, that the Lord would solidify the truths of who you are as visual images and analogies that you can hold on to, when things get hard. <3

        1. Thank you so much. And what we all need to hear from time to time. We will be alright and God will walk with us through this to freedom and victory:)

    2. Katrina – Satan is NOT winning!! You are sealed in Christ, and the enemy has no claim to you! Remember the enemy is cunning he is the deceiver. Read your bible and realize God’s promises for you. I was lead to a prayer in Psalm 40:11-13. “Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord; may your love and faithfulness always protect me. For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs on my head. And my heart fails within me. Be pleased to save me, Lord; come quickly, Lord, to help me.”

      1. Thank you so much, Summer! Psalm 40 has been a recurring message from the Lord, and I receive it! 🙂 Thank you for your kind words and prayers.

  40. Gwen your prayer knocked my head clean off, it was so RIGHT ON! The spiritual warfare going on with me right now has knocked me down and hit me hard. I was raped for five years as a child; starting at age four. Now as an adult I am prone to sexually immoral thoughts and desires. The enemy has a foothold on me that sometimes is so strong, I honestly do forget who I am in Christ. Please pray for me to remember who I am in Christ, and that my Christ-centered confidence would come back to me. Please call upon Yahweh Nissi to come be my banner and fight my battles ahead of me! Please pray that I can stand firm in the Lord and who He has called me to be; that I will not give in to this sin (again). I have forsaken my old life and it has been such a long time since this sin has reared its ugly head – I thought the Lord had brought me completely through it. Thank you. God bless.

    1. Summer, have you read The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender? Highly recommend it for sexual aabuse and there is a workbook. If you have money to spare then id get his cd set of him speaking about the topic. This man has been blessed with much wisdom and inspiration about sexual abuse. I am so sorry for the evil that has been done to you and I pray that you will find complete freedom from the lies of the enemy. One day your healing will be a testimony of God’s love and redemption…it already is but you will be able to help others from the comfort you receive! Amen and praying for peace and a quiet mind. <3

  41. I live only 2 miles from White Oak Park, just a funny note…my tug of war is remembering whose I am and what Jesus has done…it is finished. To live in GRACE is a continual ‘war’ but it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me…pressing on every day to show grace to all those I am around. Thanks for the GIG devotions-

  42. My tug of war is with my husbands illness and my strength. Since my husband had heart surgery and suffered a stroke in 2012 I have been his caregiver. I’ve also been mom to 9 year old twins, worked parttime to keep a roof over our head and food in our bellies. I am so grateful to the Lord that he spared my husband and my babies daddy. We are also so blessed to have all the people the Lord has put in our life to help us thru this struggle. I am just so tired and unhappy. I am struggling to maintain a good attitude. My husband is struggling with residual depression and a slow recovery. Some days i am so discouraged. How much longer will this continue? I just wonder what the Lord has planned for me, for him, for us.

  43. My tug of war is with depression.I have decided to take myself off of Zoloft and I can definitely feel the difference.Every day I ask for God to supply all my needs for the day and everyday around 8 pm I am exhausted.I start yelling and screaming and I feel hopeless about my life usually it’s towards my husband and children.I am a stay at home mom who wants to do something different with my life, but financially we can’t afford.Lord I long to have a identity outside of being a mother and wife.Pray that I can learn to stand in God during my hour of hopelessness and not take it out on my children and husband.Also, that I get this job that will take me out the house and doing something I love.Thank you in advance.

  44. Please pray for my granddaughter Sarah and her family. Especially for her little girl Lili. They are being sucked into a pit and it’s because of choices Sarah is making. Unfortunately her little children are suffering the consequences of her choices. I’m battling for them in prayer and I covet all prayer from my brothers and sisters in Christ.

  45. please pray for me, im stuck in fear…. i need a miracle. a christian home to rent a room, i dont have a job, my 17 yr old son eris lost pray for his dad to help him he has custody and eric has alot to walk through. thanks prayer warriors

  46. My tug of war is my family. My heart is currently troubled because I desire to go to a retreat to spend time with God and for us to spend time with each other, but my husband doesn’t seem to see value in this investment which leaves my heart broken and resentful. I just want more for us and for my marriage to work but it just doesn’t seem like the spiritual and emotional aspects hold any importance in my husband’s heart.

  47. My cousin Blair is helping me so much clean out my previously “hoarded” house. God gave us a great blessing this morning by having the city pick up all the curbside without us attending to it. We are, as the quote goes, “cleaning out the past, packing up the present, and preparing for a much better future.”
    Punkinhead Abhishek via autumn via Blair We pray that our family experiences a blessed year where people are healed of cancer and diabetes and other ailments and that the world at large comes to know Jesus. Until then, we stand in the gap. Also, please let me find the things that are dear to me and not let me throw them out. Praise the Lord!

  48. I have discovered my tug of war in the last few weeks. Some events have happened in my family between my husband and I and my dad that have caused stress and hurt. Praise God for the firm foundation in Him that was growing deeper all the time. I dug in to his word and into prayer. Prayed for my father a lot. Still a ways to go. But discovered in reading one day. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of self discipline. Fear. Fear of Conflict and hurt. Fear of change. I was afraid of things that could happen and that were happening. I have claimed that verse as mine. I don’t like the situation but for now it may have settled a little. My hope is in God. He is my strength. Praise God for being with me and rooting my faith in Him. Praise God for revealing His presence and assuring me that I do have His Spirit in me. Praise God for his answers to prayer. Dig into God’s word in the times of trouble and hardship. Reach out to him. I’ve found him truly to walk through the valley with me.

  49. My Tug a War Is Devil is putting doubts in my thoughts with my journey on losing weight that I gained two pounds again from last wk. to today!! And not getting or finding a job. n seeing my son more often n hear From him more after Chtistmas. please pray for me. as I read the devtion I was in tears thanks

  50. My tug of war is dealing with an ex husband that just came back into my son’s life after missing for three years. I’m trying my best to deal with the sly schemes and lies he’s telling my child. I long for things to be as they were, for his absence to be permanent. My child is better off without his negative influence.

  51. My tug of war is finances…my daughter who has a eleven month old son lost her job and now everything has fallen on me. I live from payday to payday not having enough to pay all the bill. I have not lost faith because I know that God is working on my behalf but some days it’s a heavy burden. Please keep me in your prayers

  52. LTC
    My tug of war is the constant battle of guarding myself without building walls, a hurting heart is a terrible thing and proceeding with caution often causes lack of trust and missed opportunities. I don’t want to miss any more opportunities to move forward in relationships and business. I have Faith but often the Risk taking is overwhelming when it seems it does the most damage to me. I am learning slowly but surely how not to be offended when I am done wrong but I am only as human as the next person.

  53. Things are actually going pretty well for me right now, but I guess my couple of tugs of war would be my son Marc. His drinking has caused him to lose his girlfriend and she took their daughter with her to her mom’s. He realizes that he has messed up and is so scared of losing them. I need the Lord to give me the right words to say to him as we are having breakfast later on this morning. He is thirty years old and still not making good choices. I want to encourage him, yet I need to be firm with him. My other tug of war is the Daniel Fast that my church is on. I don’t want to fall of of it. Susan Gregory’s book has helped me tremendously, but this is only the third day of the twenty one day fast! Please pray that I am strong while fasting and praying and please especially pray for my son Marc. Thank you and God bless you Gwen for all the work that you are doing for the Kingdom of God.

  54. My tug of war is that I am under a heavy spiritual attack which gives me intense anxiety. I am rebuking and speaking scripture and truth. Please pray that I would continue to stand firm and trust God. I know that what we go through in life has a purpose. However, in the midst of the struggle and trial it’s hard to remember and believe those truth. Thanks so much.

      1. Thank you Sherry! It’s hard. I’m in tears as I write this. Thank you for your encouraging words and I greatly appreciate your prayers. I am believing God will work this out for his glory and my good. May The Lord bless you and your family! Thanks again.

    1. I can so understand your fight, because I have been there just this week. Just stay in the Word…and by all mean PRAISE!!! The enemy cannot stay where Jesus is. I will pray for you Lyndsi.

    2. Thank you Lyndsi! I appreciate your email. I was also told that none of this is a surprise to God and yet He still chose me. However, it’s been a total shock to me and I really don’t understand it. My eyes have been opened so widely to how filthy we all are as sinners and that none of us is worthy of what Jesus did for us, but He still died because He loves us. This has made me so physically sick that I have lost 25 pounds because of how awful it’s been. I hope and pray that it is for a season, I just can’t comprehend right now that God will forgive me for these thoughts. I know God is a God of justice and I just pray that He knows these came on me completely unjustly, I’ve never thought these things in my life and some of these things I might’ve heard in passing that I’ve never thought of on my own, but they somehow came out of absolutely nowhere and manifested in my brain. I’ve lost so much sleep in anguish. The thought of losing my mind completely, scares me to death. I just keep praying daily, although I don’t know if God is hearing them because of all that’s going on in my head, but I pray anyway. I rebuke all the time and ask God to forgive me as far as the east is from the west. It’s awful, I really hope it ends very soon and NEVER comes back. I have never been so scared in my life and I just want Jesus back. Thank you so much for your prayers, Lyndsi, God bless you, my prayers are with you too, I’m so sorry you’re going through what you are too.

      1. This is for a season and you won’t lose your mind. I’ve had that fear as well. Isn’t it funny how Satan’s attacks are not original. Remember that condemnation is not from God. Just this morning I was praying against condemning myself for this attack. These thoughts are not you. I was reading breaking free this morning and Beth M. Said the first step to victory is asking God for help. I realized that I was asking for Him to free me and take this bit not asking for His help. You will make it through this. I know it! You are not crazy and not will you go crazy. Those are All lies. You can read some more of my struggles on my blog if you want. It’s We are entering a prayer and fasting time at our church. I’ll be praying for God to reveal to you what He wants to show you and free you.

        1. Thank you so much for your prayers Lyndsi! God responded immediately! After viewing this site, I did a search for similar situations online, and I found another site that was very eye-opening. The one writing in was going through the same thing, the minister responded in an amazing way. He said that the reason these thoughts aren’t going away is because as a Christian, we have believed that we are exempt from such terrible sin. In so believing that, we are constantly punishing ourselves for experiencing the sin, that it’s only keep these things alive in our head. WOW! That was EXACTLY what I was doing, that’s even evident in my last post!! Instead, we are to immediately rebuke the sin and give it to Jesus, Jesus came to take away our sins, so give them to Him…if we don’t rebuke them each time, especially if it’s so constant, then we will eventually start to cave in and accept it, that’s exactly what the enemy wants. There is no way I want to please him!!! We also need to focus on Philippians 4:8. This was so eye-opening and so incredibly humbling and I just praise God, for the wisdom and insight for this page, chatting with you and then leading me immediately to the other website. For the first time in 3 months, I have a renewed hope and I know that God still loves me and I’m feeling that again. I so believe that everything is in the Bible for a perfect reason, this precious book is timeless, it’s amazing!! It’s living and active and when Jesus said to bear one another’s burdens, He actually leads us to the people He knows we need to share them with! I honestly don’t remember how I came across this blog, but I praise God for you, Lyndsi and I appreciate your prayers, Sister! God bless you, I will be praying for you too! I am deeply humbled and so grateful for a faithful loving God that can reach through any means to speak to our hearts through one another! Loves in Christ, Lisa 😀

      2. That’s awesome!! Thanks for sharing! We will get through this season.
        2 Corinthians 1:8-10 NLT “We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it…But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God….and He did rescue us and He will rescue us again.”!
        Thanks for your prayers as well!

  55. My tug of war is with infertility. The devil puts defeated thoughts, doubts of unworthiness, and fear in my head. I have two babies in heaven, no living children, and have gone through two unsuccessful fertility treatments in the last nine months. It is the desire of my heart and I desperately long to have one healthy biological child. I am very blessed to have a sweet and healthy and beautiful eight year old step daughter. My husband has filed for full custody and that is very stressful as well. Please pray for all of my thoughts to be positive about having a healthy biological child, for the stress of the custody case to be minimized, for my step daughter to be protected, for my husband and I to be able to continually forgive her mother, for God to increase my faith, and for me to be joyful positive encouraging and God centered daily!

    1. Mine too! I was just about to post but I saw your post before I started writing my own. Thankfully I now have one biological daughter. She is 16 months old. I also have three angle babies waiting to be reunited with me one day. I recently learned that I have a chromosomal problem called balanced translocation. It causes fertility struggles and miscarriage. The devil (and technology) are tugging me in many directions. At what point are we playing God? My husband and I have decided that we don’t feel settled with the idea of testing embryos to determine if they are “good” or “bad”. I will continue to use reproductive technologies that I feel are Lord pleasing and hope in Him for another child. Please know that you are not alone. Many women struggle through this. It’s a quiet struggle – like you are constantly treating a secret disease. Seek support from your local church or nearby churches. My church has a support group and I see a counselor at my church who also struggled through infertility. It helps to meet with Goldly women who’ve been there. Praying for you and for me and for all of those struggling with this tug of war.

    2. Paula, you are definitely not alone!!! I too struggle with infertility and have 3 angel babies! Like you, I have step-children – 3 wonderful boys – and also know the stress that raising other women’s children can sometimes bring (not because of the children but because of the adults). Our Lord has led me to a great doctor in Mexico who has been helping me with my infertility. Keep praying sister – The Lord hears your cry. And I pray also that you leave all your burdens at His feet. I pray that I continue to love & forgive my boys’ moms. I also pray for the wisdom of my doctor and to Trust in the Plan Our Lord has laid out for me.

  56. My tug of.war is my relationship with my husband.we were separated and during that time realized we needed God. Weboth did some pretty ugly things to one another but we have forgiven each other and are now walking with the Lord. The problem is our families are not happy at all and we are scared to lose them. We need God to soften their hearts and see that both of us have changed for the better.they are all very one came to our wedding because they didn’t approve of us to begin with. They tolerated us before but now they are adamantly against us.

  57. My husband and I just met a couple of years ago. 3 months into our relationship we found out he had cancer. We knew that this was no surprise to God and believing He brought us together we trusted him in walking through it with us. 2 surgeries and several treatments and it was gone. Praise God! We were married in August and just 3 months later the cancer was back. I have had migraines for years but this past year they have been coming nightly. I get very little sleep. We are both struggling with corruption at our jobs and due to the cancer we have taken our house off the market and given up those plans for now. We feel like we overcome the tug of war just a bit and may pull that rope a little in our direction and then the pull from the enemy comes a little bit harder again. God did not bring us together to be miserable. We believe he is strengthening us but it can be very discouraging. Please pray for our strength in standing together as one. The enemy is working hard to destroy what God intended for good.

  58. My tug of war is my weight, I eat the least amount of anyone in the house and yet still continue to struggle. I know have some allergies and issues but with no money and no insurance can’t afford to go to the doctor to find out. I have been trying to cut some things out of my diet and am seeing some success. My prayer would be that the weight loss continues, I have many pounds to go and that finances improve so that I can go see the doctor for a complete work up and find out what’s going on.

  59. My husband is an alcoholic, and today is the anniversary of his mother’s death. He uses days like today to allow himself to fall into a deep depression which can cause his alcohol problem to be much worse. I tend to allow his problem to bring me down deep in a pit, and think that b/c God hasn’t freed him (although, he’s the one that needs to allow God to free him) that for some reason God does not love me, or want me to be free of this type of life. Much prayers needed. Thanks in advance.

  60. i am in the pit of feeling that i wont ever find my soulmate, i have prayed God to send me someone who has him at the center of his heart, but some days i feel so lonely and depressed, but as you say i cling on to Jesus

    1. Hi Fabiola! I just wanted to write to let you know that I’ve been there and felt that, and it is awful and hard. I remember the longing and waiting and loneliness too. I believed that God didn’t hear my prayers, or that He didn’t know what was best for me. Wow! Imagine that! He waited until I was 33 to bring my husband, and the funny thing, is that even now, I am not really that prepared for marriage. It is so so hard to be married at times. But God knew the best time for me to have a husband, when I would be most able to succeed at it. Trust that He knows the perfect time for you as well. I am sorry for the way that you are hurting…I don’t know if this will be encouraging, but I have learned something in being married (2 years now). I learned that if I was lonely before I got married, it soon followed me into the marriage, after the honeymoon stage wore off. Sometimes a marriage can be a dark, cold, and lonely place, unfortunately. It is not the way God intended, but we all carry our burdens and struggles into marriage, and it almost magnifies things. I had so much insecurity before getting marriage, and I’ve found, that getting married only heightened a lot of those insecurities 🙁 because now, I have something valuable that I want to hold on to for dear life. But it makes things hard, and we cannot cling to our mate. Our mate will never be able to take away the ache we feel for love and belonging. I think God made it that way for a reason. Every idol we look to for happiness and fulfillment will eventually let us down, because our expectations are WAY TOO HIGH. A sad truth. I wonder if you have heard this before, because it is common advice from women that are married: “Just enjoy being single while you can, enjoy the freedom you have to go or do anything you want without asking another’s permission, and just work on being content where you are first.” Unfortunately, this is the BEST advice that you can ever take as a single woman. I wonder if there is anything that you have dreamed of doing but haven’t pursued? I wonder what would happen if you started to pray for that thing, and move towards it, in order to find enjoyment in life now. For me, I started to chase after God, missions, and worship and singing! It was such a beautiful time of exploring the blessings that God wanted me to uncover. To see that God put those desires and dreams in my heart BECAUSE He intended to fulfill them, and because He delighted to do so! He is SO good to us! In this long drawn out reply, I guess what I want to encourage to you, is that there is much to be enjoyed and explored in this life alone. Ask for God’s help in finding things. He LOVES to bring you those things! And also, take it from someone who’s been there. If you put so much hope in finding someone else, it will surely let you down, when you find it. Remember contentment is being filled with peace, where you are. When you find that, there is NOTHING better than that. I know this is probably not the advice you want to hear, but I am also praying the Lord bless you in your waiting, and that He bring you fulfillment as you wait, like you never knew possible. I pray you would see, hear, and know Him like never before, and that that would bring you great excitement and passion! Also, that He would reveal Himself to you, as your loving Husband, Protector, Healer, Comforter, Counselor, Provider. <3

  61. I suffer from clinical depression, Ptsd from bad childhood experience, and anxiety. I have suffered with this for most of my 56 years. I could see the bottom hurling towards me and, while I could not claim to be a Christian, I prayed every night for peace.This past sept I tried to end my life. But God was not ready for me and by miracles, he had my husband save me in the middle of the night. God has given me the right prople to help me, He has given me enough leave to stay home and heal both mentally and spiritually until Jan 21. My struggle now is going back to work on the 21st. I am a middle school teacher. I no longer feel that calling. I am praying and trusting that the Holy Spirit will find a different job for me. I am praying that the path be shown to me that is God’s will.

    1. Hi lmarie, I know what you are talking about. I also have ptsd from childhood and dealing with it has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. Sometimes I make progress and at other times, I feel like I am going backwards. It can feel overwhelming to say the least. Can I recommend EMDR which is a form of couseling that is supposed to help us move through trauma? I am still seeing a counselor these days, luckily this woman is helping me to see that Im not as powerless as I feel, that there are always choices. I am so sorry for your difficulty right now. I am praying for you during with understanding. The Lord will heal you in Jesus name! What has helped me is to feel my tears of sorrow instead of growing hard with rage. But it’s a huge battle. Also it has helped me to have lots of small steps of positive change and to celebrate those instead of getting discouraged that thinvs aren’t changing. I’m keeping you in my prayers and pray the Lord bless you with a consistent overwhelming awareness of His presence through this, to see He is working a lot, and for an abundance of His grace and love!

      1. Thank you for your prayers! I am glad that you have found a dedicated therapist. I know God is with me and feel that He has given me a new life. I fear though that if I go back in that classroom what steps I have gained will disappear. I know that God is with me, but wrestle with that part right now. I will suggest EMDR to my therapist. Thank you so much for your reply. God bless you my friend.

        1. I wonder if your family can financially afford for you to not work for a while? I know this can be a luxury for many people, but sometimes it is a necessity. Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves and expect too much of ourselves. We expect to get right back out there and bounce back because “we should.” But, I have found so much peace in God’s creation of Rest. I spent many years serving as a missionary, servant in the church and community, etc., and finally I reached a point where I just wanted to “hide” if that makes sense. I was spent from trying to pour out more than I actually had in my vessel. Because, my own vessel was cracked from lots of trauma, and I was leaking fast. I wanted to love God and serve, but I didn’t know how much God loved me. He finally had me stop…everything. He invited me to enjoy His rest, and to see that He loves me AS MUCH, when I am not serving Him at all, as when I do serve Him. I have needed this season of resting, and allowing Him to love me, despite my sinfulness, despite my guilt and shame, to keep giving to and pouring into me, and to keep pursuing me, like a bride waits for her groom. I love the story of Hosea and Gomer. I am Gomer, in that I’ve spent my life running away from God, and protecting myself from harm. I’ve built walls and become hard. But God continues to pursue me…and you. He will not stop. I have found this period of rest, more transforming for my faith in who God is, than in most of the times I was out there serving…is that horrible to write? 🙂 I was seeing a counselor once, and he said that doing counseling, and digging up, and dealing with all of the pain is kind of like frostbite. When you get frostbite, and then you come back inside a warm house (healing, God’s mercy and grace), your body (heart) starts to warm up. But when you have gotten frostbite, when it is exposed to heat and warmth, it actually causes MORE pain, and it can feel like you are on fire (the pain of our hearts being healed). As your body starts to thaw, it begins to make sense (even though in a peaceful, non-painful place it wouldn’t make sense), that the BEST idea in the world, is to run back into the snow, and stick your self back into the cold! We know though that if you have frostbite, that will only make you worse off, even though it might seem like temporary relief. Our goal is to keep going through the pain. To face it, acknowledge it, pray about it often, to reach out to others for support with it, to not grow cold or hard towards it in an attempt to get over it, and to not get stuck in it either, where we fear we cannot get out. It sounds crazy, but facing the pain is the best way we will be able to heal, and allow God to bless us with His grace and mercy. My heart goes out to you lmarie, and I will keep you in my prayers. You are doing an incredibly brave thing by facing your pain, most people avoid it, and when you get through it, things will be better and easier than you ever thought possible. I pray every good and perfect blessing over you, for an outpouring and OVERABUNDANCE of the Lord’s love and kindness, to the point where you are almost embarrassed and in disbelief in the generous love the Father is showing you. You can do this! Keep going, and walk by faith, not by sight. We cannot see how glorious we will become yet, but it is coming! Amen! And, sidenote: I would recommend The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender. It is mostly about sexual abuse, but even if that has never happened to you, it talks about things like betrayal, powerlessness, ambivalence, etc. which is the same that evil tries to do, for victims of trauma. It is so good in showing people that even though at one point in our lives we had to take care of ourselves (childhood in a dysfunctional home), God is now inviting us to allow Him to take care of us. This means we have to put down our weapons of how we protected ourselves in childhood, and allow Him to be our King. I highly recommend it! Bless you!!!! <3

  62. My tug of war is with guilt of my past. I know God forgives me, but I still deal with it day to day. Please pray fir healing for me. Thanks!

  63. My tug of war is being sucked into a pit of helplessness, hopelessness, despair, depression, loneliness, and anger as I deal with months of migraines that occur about every other day. They are ruining my life and affecting my relationships with my four-year-old daughter and my husband. I feel that I can’t give them the attention they need because I’m always in such pain. Please pray for me.

  64. Thank you for this encouraging words for this New Year ! Please pray for me as my job is getting more complicated , I need wisdom and patience. I love you all GiG !!!

  65. Please pray for my marriage… I have been fighting for it for the last six months. God has proven himself faithful and answering many of my prayers but I am sure there is a long road ahead. I have stood strong with my faith in God and he has been my rock through all of this. The enemy is always clouding my thoughts and I have found myself in a rut so many times and its hard to get out of. Thank you for the prayers!

  66. 2013 was a difficult year for our family and our church. Death hit us hard and finances have plummeted. I think finances would be my tug of war. I handle all of the payables for our church and sometimes it’s just not there. My husband and I have taken a cut in pay to try to help. We also just lost out health insurance on the 31st of December. He and I both have medical issues that for right now have been placed on hold. I’m also facing my dad being diagnosed with cancer. He begins treatments in two weeks. There’s a lot. But these are the closest to my heart.

  67. Please pray for my marriage, my husband is under fierce attack from the enemy and it is deeply affecting our marriage. I am tired from it. He is the pastor of our church and has been hit hard from the enemy this past year. The enemy is prowling around and looking to take him out of service. Please pray for safety for our family and a Renewed mind for my husband.

    1. Becky, it sounds like our requests are very similar. I will def be praying for you guys. Being in leadership, and experiencing trouble is not easy, you have so much on your plate. But praying God’s grace continues to keep you like it already has. Continue to pray over your husband, ask God to show you specifically what he is wrestling against. And pray against it. God will honor your prayers. Remember, the Bible says He will perfect that which concerns us. Love ya Sis, stay encouraged!

  68. My tug of war now is the entire family. I have A very big family ” 13 ” and lots of nieces and nephews and great nieces and nephews.. I pray that” God Will “be done in each and every single one of my brothers and sisters and their families.I pray that my husband will also be closer to God than ever and that Jesus will hear our prayer and help us in our everyday life.I love my brothers sisters and hope the best for them that all things are possible with Our King in Heaven.Thank you for joining me in prayers always.

  69. My tug of war today is being nice or being estranged from a lady who seemingly wants my job. The way in which it was done, is what bothered me. I am to work with her today, because we wanted the extra hands for stock taking. I want to respond to her the way God would want me to respond to her.

  70. My struggle right now is: I am currently in a custody battle with the father of my youngest daughter. He is a Special Force Soldier so he has never been confronted with his behavior and held accountable for his actions or lack there of.. He left me while I was pregnant and began cheating on me with a SOuth American women who I later found out about… He did it all… But I over him so much and would forgive him over and over again… He didn’t love me and I couldn’t understand why, I was so good to him.. I loved my family and we where suppose to be married… So I got hospitalized laid in bed for 4 weeks and spent 4 months in NCIU… During this time I clang to the Lord there where moments where I was so physically sick I couldn’t get off the ground. Jesus my best friend would literally speak to me and pick me up off the floor because I had to take care of my little precious baby girl.. So I would drive myself back to NCIU and sit and pump milk… Its all I could do… He continued to come in and out of our lives.. Yes for a long time I would not say anything to him because I just wanted him to come home… Then I couldn’t hold back anymore… He has moved on and now theirs a new women he says he’s married her and I am ok with it… I was not for a few months because she wrote me very inappropriate emails and I did not want my daughter around her. So we move forward… Court says he can take my 2 year old out of state and I was not happy.. But I continue to trust the Lord. Theres more to his actions which say I do not trust them to take care of her alone. However, I know that god is in control but I have to stand firm… It hurts and I am tired… I’ve trusted and I know that God will take care of everything and he already has. His family and I are not in good terms any longer they Love to tell what a horrible Christian I am and it hurts.. So easily… So I have a hard time with allowing him to take her anywhere but I let her go.. Now he won’t tell what he wants but I know God will take care of this situation… But I struggle and my faith is tested and somedays I don’t feel good… Please pray… God will in my life. I haven’t dated in over 3 years. Men have come but none of them love Jesus. So they come and go! I need to date.. I wasn’t ready to date.. I am still afraid to meet someone else.. But I my heart will heal the betrayal I have encountered can not come with me… I have baggage and I need it to be removed. Thanks for listening! With lots of love!

    1. Have you heard of the book, “Love is a Choice”? I highly recommend this book to you. …HIGHLY! It could really help you understand your ex., and yourself and how to avoid these types of relationships in the future. I’ll be praying for you! In Christ’s Love, Amy

  71. My tug of war right now is the separation of my family because of work. My husband lost his job and went a little over two years without full time work. When he finally got a job offer it was four hours from where we live and of course we needed the money so he had to take it. We have tried selling our house for three years now and it has come close but then at the last minute the offer fell thru. We have two kids and both have a chronic illness, Crohn’s Disease. My daughter is 22 and has a great job but is three hours from me and my son is 14 and a freshman in high school who needs a father around full time right now. And his illness is a lot worse than his sisters. So I feel like a single mom trying to work full time and raise my son to be a wonderful man. Please pray for my family, I know God has a reason for all of this but sometimes it is just too much for me to carry.

  72. My tug of war is that of honoring my temple for years I’ve tried to lose weight I struggle with saying no to food I cannot say it is a comfort as much as a pleasure I don’t want to allow food to be my god Please pray my strength in the Lord

  73. My tug right now is with the third trimester of my pregnancy. It has many layers. It’s the physical discomfort, emotional waves, and relationship with my husband. My husband is amazing and I hate even complaining. He loves me more than anything and we are both very happy and blessed to be expecting after nearly 3 years of trying and going through IVF and multiple losses. My pregnancy up until the third trimester has been pretty easy so that makes it even harder for me to complain. The thing is these physical discomforts are really attacking me at my core. My sciatic is extremely acting up (especially at night) to the point where I can barely walk to and from the bathroom every hour. My legs could really use a massage but this is one area my husband is really uncomfortable in. It’s hard to explain but it’s like he does everything in his power but the things he can’t stand doing are the things I feel I need. We communicate and he knows I need these things but I think because he can’t comprehend how a simple massage can really make all the difference in the world he doesn’t do it. Same with tolerating my hormonal imbalance. One minute I’m crying then I’m fine. I know he is a solutions provider kind of guy like many men are. He’s admitted when he can’t solve a problem he can’t stand it and just gets irritated or frustrated. More with himself or the problem not me. He loves me and does do so much that I try to focus on all he does do and when he is there but it’s always easier to fall into the devils trap when he tries to tear you apart by listing all the things that are wrong. I feel so blessed because so many women have such harder times with pregnancy and mines overall been pretty easy. I just need prayer that I can focus more on what’s important and know that God can fill in the gaps where my human husband falls short. I know I am loved by both men in my life and I want to enjoy that love and feel that instead of always being upset by what I’m not getting.

  74. Well my tug of war is a confusing one, just had a baby 5 mo ago,and Im ready ans so needing to go back towork, well at least i thought so. At first it was impossible for me to find a job, it seemed. Now I have had several job offers, went to several orientations. In the meantime ive had all these obstacles that come up , I thank God for these opportunities , but are the jobs for me or wht…

  75. Well, my tug of war is the relationship and house I live in with my almost 3 year old daughter and her father. My daughter is my love of my life, her father is not, he is very abusive, mostly emotionally and every other way, although he hasn’t been phisically for about 4-5 months now, but we’ve been together for about 4 years. Well, I’m not allowed to see my family much at all, he said my mother lied to him once and so I rarely see them, and I’m not allowed to go anywhere or talk to anyone and I’m supposed to only adore him and give him attention and our daughter, he even gets jealous of all the time I spend with our little girl. Well, he is not a Christian, I grew up in a Christian home and I love God and read my devotions every day and I have a big heart so its hard for me to find the courage to leave and “hurt” this man by taking myself and our child away. But I feel its what I need to do. He uses very vulgar language every day and is crude and likes to live like we are married, but it actually makes me feel sick and used when he touches me because I know I’m living in sin by not being married and living here. Well, more every day I can feel evil trying to overcome me in anger, and all these other negative destructive emotions and I pray endlessly for strength and help to get over my fear of what this man says he will do if I ever try to leave him especially with our daughter but I seem to b stuck and I need help, I am desperately trying to overcome my fear and find the courage to walk out but I feel as if there is a possesive evil here and keeping the fear inside me… that is where my tug of war is. I know it’ll b better for both my daughter and I to leave but I’m afraid. (He is not abusive to her, he loves her but does not spend too much time with her cuz he’s busy with his own life.)

    1. Mimi I will be praying for you and your daughter’s safety. I will also pray for your daughter’s father. May God give you the strength to leave this abusive relationship for the sake of (what it sounds like) you and your daughter’s well being. I’m very happy to hear he hasn’t been physically abusive in several months but I pray that man will grow up and recognize words and actions hurt as much as physical abuse. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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