When Grief Runs Deep

Gwen SmithBlog 82 Comments

I read the text in horror and disbelief.

How could he be gone? He was the picture of potential. So much going for him. He had been through so many challenges and had come so far. Achieved so many accolades. How could his world have crumbled so low that taking his life became the answer he turned to?

Shock waves rippled through the core of my heart. A landslide of sorrow.

All who knew and loved him grieved. In our homes. On social media. In our conversations. In our prayers. In our hearts.

We grieved deep with a pain that stings fierce.

We grieved for his family, for the empty seat at their dinner table, and the empty gape in their hearts and home.

We grieved for his friends, our children, his teammates, and our community. We grieved because death hurts.

As we gathered in community to celebrate his life many stories were shared. In the sacred sanctuary of God’s presence, we were reminded that God is the healer of the broken. We were reminded that death is not the end for those that place their faith in Christ. We were reminded to cherish those we love and to keep our eyes wide open to the needs of those around us.

The pastor painted a canvas of Hope as he spoke. Each word a stroke of truth. A smattering of grace in full and vibrant color. He shared from the Word of God about the Word made flesh: our Hope, Jesus.

And then this… “Our friend did not die of hopelessness, he died of brokenness.”

Oh, my soul.

How does one who is surrounded by a community of love feel broken to the point of death? To the point of thinking that suicide is a solution to the pain?

I struggled to breathe as I think back on this tragedy.

I consider the lives I love that are tortured by depression and sigh inwardly.

The weight of it all still sits heavy on my heart.

Inwardly I speak to the Father. I remember pouring my heart out to the Comforter and sensing His peace in the middle of the grief. The burden remains, but the pressure of it is lightened in His presence. And I’m reminded that God’s strength comes to me as I yoke myself to Jesus and allow Him to share in the carrying of my grief. In doing so, I am locked into His power that walks with me step by step through every struggle.

When life is jagged and darkness taunts us like a bully, how can we see beyond the despair that grips us?

I don’t have a simple list of answers, but I do know this: when grief runs deep God’s comforting love runs deeper still. 

The peace we long for and the rest we are desperate for will always be found in the arms of Jesus. And those arms are constantly reaching out to us.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29)

This is the invitation Jesus gives to each of us.

If you find yourself in a place of unrest… if you are trying to sift through a landslide of soul sorrow… if you’re carrying a heavy load, will you turn toward Hope and accept His invitation right now?


Dear Lord,
Please help me bring my grief to You. Thank You for being a God of hope and healing. Remind me of the peace and plans you have for me.
In Jesus’ Name, amen.



Read Isaiah 41:10. What two things does God not want you to do? Why? What three things does He promise to do for you? How will these promises affect the way you deal with your challenges today?

Who is one person you know that is struggling and in need of encouragement right now? How will you encourage her/him?

Love you so much,

PS. Your continued prayers for my mom, MaryLou Eisaman, are greatly appreciated. Her battle with pancreatic cancer is a brutal one. We’d love prayer for an increase in appetite, an increase in weight and for the chemo to fully eradicate any remaining cancer cells/spots.

PSS. If you’d like to post a favorite scripture of encouragement for my mom on the wall of my blog, I will make sure she reads through them all. Thanks in advance! You guys are amazing!!


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Comments 82

  1. “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23
    Just as God provided the Israelites fresh manna every morning while they were wandering for 40 years, this verse in Lamentations reminds me that God will provide me with what I need to make it through another day. I can’t look at the long road ahead of me, today has enough trouble of it’s own and tomorrow will take care of itself(Matthew 6:34)
    Your mom is fighting a long battle but she has so many saints fighting with her with their Swords drawn. 🙏🏻

  2. Praying for your sweet mom and sending encouraging words of hope. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto you own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path. HIs path is perfect.

  3. If the Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from death, lives in you, then he who raised Christ from death will also give life to your mortal bodies by the presence of his Spirit in you.
    Romans 8:11 GNT

  4. Isaiah 40:31 – But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

  5. Ms Eisaman my favorite verse from the Bible is Jeremiah 29:11 “ for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Prayers that your cancer will be irradiated soon. Hope this scripture helps you now, as it does me every day as I struggle with depression and anxiety.? God Bless You

  6. Since the day in May 2019 that I was diagnosed with 4th stage lymphoma and the need for my aortic valve to be replaced, I have said Psalm 23 and Psalm 91 each night after turning out the light. (For decades I offered all 14 of my grandchildren $10 to memorize Psalm 91!

    PSALM 91 ESV

    My Refuge and My Fortress

    91 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
    2 I will say[a] to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”
    3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
    and from the deadly pestilence.
    4 He will cover you with his pinions,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
    5 You will not fear the terror of the night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
    6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
    nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
    7 A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
    8 You will only look with your eyes
    and see the recompense of the wicked.
    9 Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
    the Most High, who is my refuge[b]—
    10 no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
    no plague come near your tent.
    11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways.
    12 On their hands they will bear you up,
    lest you strike your foot against a stone.
    13 You will tread on the lion and the adder;
    the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.
    14 “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
    I will protect him, because he knows my name.
    15 When he calls to me, I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble;
    I will rescue him and honor him.
    16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

  7. Jeramiah 29:11 ” For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” The Lord gave this verse to me after my husband was killed in an accident. I say it over and over each day….may God bless you .

  8. rejected you.
    10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
        do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
    I will strengthen you and help you;
        I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
    Isaiah 41:9-10

    Prayers going up for your mom. to
    be completely healed and to regain her strength and appetite.

  9. “I love You, Lord; You are my Strength. The Lord is my Rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.” Psalm 18:vs 1,2.

    I am praying for your precious mom; that her strength and desire for food would return and that the medicine will fully do its work. Also, prayers for you and her family and friends who are so lovingly lifting her up and supporting her.

  10. My prayer for you mom from Psalm 41:3 and 4
    While she is suffering and lying upon this bed of suffering Father will you come and restore her. Will you raise her up again and restore her back to health. So in this sickness we say “Lord be her kind healer. Heal her body and soul; heal her O God” we pray in the Mighty Name of the Lord Jesus Christ!

  11. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you,plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

    Prayers for your mom!


  13. A prayer for MaryLou, from one sister to another “The thief comes to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 I lift my prayers to you, Father, for MaryLou. I ask that you bring healing and peace in knowing that you have already won the battle in this fight she is in. I ask in Jesus name that you will give MaryLou the determination to eat for her strength. Help her to see your hand feeding her, to picture you sitting by her holding her hand. Let her see your heart of love for her and be encouraged to try again for today. One step at a time. Pour out your blessings on MaryLou, Father. In Jesus powerful and precious name I pray. Amen

  14. Fear not … I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you (Isaiah 43:1-2 NIV).

  15. Dear MaryLou,
    Praying for you in Australia.

    Isaiah 41:10 – “do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

  16. Dearest Mary Lou,

    “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ”
    Romans 15:13
    God have Mercy!

  17. Verse for MaryLou Eisaman for peace and comfort:

    “The LORD bless and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26, ESV)

    Dear Lord,
    Please give MaryLou your blessings of love, peace, and healing. In the name of Jesus. Amen and Amen.

  18. Dear MaryLou – So sorry to hear that you are battling pancreatic cancer. I am praying for you today and believing for complete healing of every wayward cell in your body in the matchless Name of Jesus. I have fond memories of being in the youth group at Calvary Assembly with your daughters, and it has been a joy to follow their amazing lives and ministries.

  19. 1 Peter 2:24
    “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”
    Psalm 103: 2-5
    Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

  20. John 14: 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.

    Prayers continue for MaryLou. ✝️🙏❤️

  21. Lord, please help Marylou in these ways now. Increase her appetite and weight to make her healthier and strong to fight her cancer. Also with her chemo treatments, let them eradicate the rest of the cancer cells so she can be cancer free.
    Thank you in the name Jesus Christ.

  22. I am praying for your Mom, there is a book by Charles Capp entitled GOD’s Creative Power for Healing and it has a title on Page 24 for God’s Medicine. I pray that your Mom will be able to get the book and read the pages from 24-34 to encourage her heart. Two of my favorite scriptures are; Isa 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. 1Pe 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. (KJV) I pray that this will bless you and her. Blessings

  23. Dear Mary Lou,

    The words of the song “In Jesus Name” by Katy Nichole have been a source of inspiration to me, as I pray it is for you Mary Lou.


  24. Dear MaryLou~
    This is a verse I have written on my heart that has helped me when I struggle and stumble. May it also give you strength and hope ❤️

    Psalms 27:14
    ‘Trust in the Lord, Have faith, do not despair. Trust in the Lord.’

  25. Romans 8:26…In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wireless groans.

    I love this verse! It reminds me that When I feel too weak and weary to pray, I am covered!! By the Spirit and others who are praying! Prayers for healing!

  26. Hi Gwen,

    May your mom find comfort in knowing that God is her strength even on those days when treatment has not been kind to her.

    Prayers for your mom and the family!

    Psalm 46:1

    God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.

  27. Thanks you for this post today, so much appreciated.
    For your Mom :”The name of the Lord is a fortified tower, the righteous run to it and are safe.” Proverbs 18:10
    “Dear Lord Jesus, You are our Fortified Tower of Strength, Give Your Power of healing to MaryLou…..let her know You are the Light she is looking for!! In Your Powerful Name, Amen”

  28. Good morning: Mary Lou

    This is Joy from Ecuador. I pray you are making good progress from your surgery. I pray that your appetite for food has increased. You do need nutrition to heal and strengthen you during your chemo sessions also. I asked the Lord for a scripture verse for you and perhaps Gwen can read it to you. It is Psalm 91 and full of promises from God to you. When I weighed over 300lbs , a verse from the bible would come to my spiirt. Eat to live not live to eat. Have a Blessed Day and hugs to Gwen from me.

  29. Dear Mary Lou,
    As I post this scripture for you I’m reminded of my precious mom who shared your name of Mary Lou.🩷 May God be with you and bless you with increased appetite and weight and treatment that will kill all the cancer cells in your body…and give you His Peace.

    Isaiah 43:1-4
    But now, this is what the Lord says: He who created you, Mary Lou, He who formed you, Mary Lou:
    “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
    For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I gave Egypt for your ransom… since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, Mary Lou.

  30. My favorite verses are Proverbs 3:5-6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all yours ur ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

    Prayers continuing for total healing and restored strength and appetite! 🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️🙏♥️

  31. MaryLu, my prayer for you is that you feel God’s presence each and every day, amen.
    Philippians 4:6-7. Do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.
    I pray you will be comforted and feel safe with the peace God will give you!

  32. Hi Gwen for Mom
    Heal me oh Lord and I shall be healed save me and I shall be saved for thou art my praise Jeremiah 30:14
    For I will restore health unto thee and I will heal thee of thy wounds saith the Lord. Jeremiah 30:17
    Continued prayers for your mom.

  33. “Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.” Jeremiah 17:14

    Sending continued prayers

  34. Isaiah 53:5 “But HE was wounded for our transgressions, HE was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon HIM, And by HIS stripes WE ARE HEALED.”

  35. Continuing to pray for your precious mother. To quote your 5/18/22 GiG “When we choose to trust God in the midst of trials, our fear shifts to faith. “When I am afraid, I will trust in you.” Psalm 56:3. And another favorite: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5

  36. “I would have lost hope had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
    Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!”
    Psalm 27:13-14
    Continuing to pray for MaryLou and for the family!

  37. Dear MaryLou,
    I am lifting you up in prayer and asking God to meet each and everyone of your needs. Philippians 4: 6. Don’t worry about anything;instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done . Sending you a big hug 🤗

  38. Romans 3:5-6
    Trust in the lord, with all your heart, I do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.
    Lifting you up MaryLou in prayer, May you feel the Lord’s presence and strength and comfort during this time.

  39. I can do all things through Christ who Strengthens me. PHILIPPIANS 4:13.

    We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.
    ROMANS 8:28

  40. Psalm 107:19-21 NIV
    “Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind.”

    Dearest Father,
    Please continue to hold MaryLou in your hands. Comfort her as she goes through this brutal disease and enable her to praise You in the midst of it. Deliver her and heal her in your perfect time. In Jesus’ name, Amen

  41. MaryLou, He see you & loves you. You are precious to Him.

    Joshua 1:9.
    Be strong & courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

    Zephaniah 3:17
    The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

  42. Isaiah 41:10
    fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
    I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
    I have prayed for you and I will continue to pray for you. God Bless You and may you find comfort in the peace that only God can provide.

  43. My heart joins yours in prayer for your mom. I lost mine to pancreatic cancer. She had the “whipple” surgery and got 4 more years before going home to Jesus. She was 65 when she got sick. I’m 65 and just went through removal of half of my upper left lung. (I never smoked) It was cancer. I’m so grateful for Jesus’ peace. I pray for you, Gwen. We’re all appointed a time to be born and a time to die and I’m thankful that I don’t have to worry about because God is in control and he has this for me as well as for your mom. Praying for His hand of healing and peace on her. Blessings to each of you.

  44. Dearest MaryLou — I’m praying for you often.
    Zephaniah 3:17

    The LORD your God is with you,
    the mighty one who saves.
    He takes great delight in you.
    He will quiet you with his love.
    He will rejoice over you with loud singing!

  45. A quote from Tim Keller for you and your sweet mama
    “God is too good to be unkind, and He is too wise to be mistaken. And when we cannot trace His hand, we must trust His heart.” May we trust His heart as our firm foundation today and every day.

  46. Dear Ms. Mary Lou,

    In the lowest times of my life I cling to these verses and don’t let go:
    Proverbs 3: 5&6
    Trust in the Lord God with all your heart; don’t lean on your own understanding, but acknowledge HIM in everything you do and HE will direct your steps.
    Prayers for you!

  47. Psalm 121
    I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from. My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip. He who watches over you will not slumber . . . .


  48. Gwen this verse is for your mom. We shall pray for her.

    You are a hiding place for me ; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with shouts of deliverance.

    Psalm 32:7 ESV

  49. 1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
    The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?
    Psalm 27
    May God’s light shine in your heart today and bring hope for tomorrow

  50. “But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.”

    Matthew 19:26

  51. Mary Lou, I remember sitting at the table with you and Gwen during the GIG Cruise several years ago. What a joy it was getting to sit beside you and get to know you two! So many laughs and stories (unfortunately I was battling a terrible cold and cough that entire week, but you and Gwen were so gracious to me.) I am so sorry that you are battling pancreatic cancer. I pray that the Lord restores your appetite and your strength, and that He makes His sweet spirit felt as you rest in Him and allow Him to fight your battle for you.

    For the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory. Deut. 20:4

  52. “The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”
    ‭‭Zephaniah‬ ‭3‬:‭17

  53. When I was facing open heart surgery, a friend gave me a wooden cross with the following scripture:
    She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. -Proverbs 31:25
    I clung to that scripture and realized that my future was secure with or without a successful surgery. In Jesus we always win!
    I pray for strength, comfort and peace for your mom and your family as you face this struggle together.

  54. Isaiah 53:5
    “But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.”

  55. For your mom

    Isaiah 46:4

    Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you.
    I have made you and I will carry you;
    I will sustain you and I will rescue you

  56. Dear MaryLou,

    Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:28-31.

    This passage was my stronghold when I was going through breast cancer treatment Oct. 1999 through Sept. 2000. It remains one of my favorite passages of scripture. My prayer for you today is for improvement in your appetite (I can relate how hard it is to eat for needed nourishment when even the thought of food is not at all appealing). I pray that some item of food will be a comfort and strength for you. (For me, it was either rice pudding or tapioca pudding. When I couldn’t fathom eating anything else, I could eat either of these and even thoroughly enjoy them.)

    This cancer journey is one no one would choose. I’m also praying for your strength to fight the good fight. You are brave, fierce, strong, and loved! You are a survivor – thriver!

  57. For your mom
    The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8

  58. For I have a plan for you declares the Lord. A plan to prosper you and not to harm you. A plan for hope and a future. Jeremiah 28:11

  59. Psalm 16:8. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand. I will not be shaken.

    I will pray those specific prayers that you requested for your Mom, as I will pray specific prayers for you as well. ❤️🙏

  60. Try having her drink just a small amount of a product called liquacel. It gives 16 grams of protein. You can get it on Amazon. The oncologist recommended it as a way to get protein when you just can’t eat the right foods. There are several flavors.

  61. This is my favorite verse. Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “ plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
    May God heal your mother as He knows how.

  62. Fear not! Stand your ground, and you will see the victory the Lord will win for you today.
    Exodus 14:13

    I pray your mom wins this battle!

  63. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
His understanding has no limit. Psalm 147::4-5

  64. I have two scriptures that I would like to share:

    (1) Psalm 118: 24 (ESV)
    This is the day that the Lord has made;
    let us rejoice and be glad in it.

    This is my reminder that God is always in control.

    (2) Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
    For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

    This is my reminder that even in the bad times God has a plan for me.

  65. “He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.”
    ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭147‬:‭3‬ ‭
    Praying for the peace of God to flood your soul.

  66. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
    ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

    This was one scripture that got me through during my chemo and cancer journey. Will fervently be in prayer for your Mom.

  67. Hebrews 4:16 KJV
    Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
    Prayers for you today and in the days to come!

  68. 22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” (‭‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3‬‬:‭22‬-‭24‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

  69. Hi Gwen…this is for your mom:
    Psalm 103
    2. Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    And forget not all His benefits:
    3. Who forgives all your iniquities,
    Who heals all your diseases,
    4. Who redeems your life from
    Who crowns you with
    lovingkindness and tender
    5. Who satisfies your mouth with
    good things,
    So that your youth is renewed
    like the eagle’s.

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